Grey Matter

Reflecting on heartbreak and all its lessons

Pretending that what I felt and experienced; never really happened because we were never really together…abandonment issues are triggered when the person that felt like home suddenly goes distant and cold without any explanation… And who was I to be explained.. apparently, nobody to them.

By default, my brain was left trying to make sense of what just happened. Why would they treat me like this? Never will it make sense because never would I do them as they did me. And I can't make a big deal out of it right because we were never anything.

So I am left going back to the basics. Relearning these lessons as if I didn’t learn them already.

Learning to level set expectations, and let go of romantic fantasies that I hoped this person would have played a part in.

Learning to experience people for who they are rather than who I envision them to be.

However, to learn those things, I have to commit to practicing non-attachment to protect myself.

Shit gets lonely when you’re healing…

But through all of this, the hardest part has to be learning to be kind to me and to stop blaming myself for what went wrong. Validating the emotions that I once felt and shared with them. Because those moments were genuine regardless of titles.

It’s ok to feel sad for a little bit, just don’t let what happened with them stop you from experiencing those beautiful moments with someone else.

Life is about experiencing and although the outcome may not be what you hoped for, you still enjoyed the process.

Love & Light

Mari